So you were wronged by a partner, employee, customer, competitor etc. What to do? With so many ways to ruin someone’s life online what you need to do is just turn around and walk away as you are only hurting yourself. As a consultant, many clients have opened up to me over the years about their troubles (not just web related) and I find myself giving the same peaceful advice. I have had my fair share of raw deals in my life and as you get older you find new ways of dealing with them. Talked with a client the other day and he mentioned to me something I told him 7 years ago which helped him avoid the revenge path which is what ultimately sparked the idea to write this article. Since today is Thanksgiving and World Mental Health Day, I thought the topic was appropriate.
Step 1 – Process and be done with it
Before moving on to step 2, it is good to fully process what has happened. Try to look at the situation objectively and from the other persons perspective. A friend of mine is a Magician and professional speaker (actually performed at my wedding) and he has a great bit on subjective reality (Check it out here or Check him out here). The jist of it is that our perception is our reality and what we believe to be true. But there may be other truths too that do don’t perceive. Here is some food for thought when processing your troubles.
- What lead to the situation?
- Could you have in anyway been at fault? Be honest.
- What lessons can be learned from this experience? Is there a silver lining?
- What can I do to protect myself in the future?
Then put all those feelings in a box and shelf it.
Step 2 – Try not to think about it
No need to play hypothetical arguments you could have won in the shower volumes 1 – 30. That time is spent and there is no going back. Your future time is literally better spent doing anything else. Look at a pretty flower, laugh at a happy dog, admire the sunset, etc. Whatever you do, don’t dwell on it. I call it changing the channel. When the thought begins to come into your mind, don’t panic. Just change the channel. You have already processed it, so no need to revisit.
Step 3 – Funnel that energy into anything else
Imagine instead of spending time stewing about past events and retelling that same old story to yourself or others, you put that energy into what you need to do? Anything you do is time better spent than rehashing old feelings. If you still find yourself still stewing, perhaps you really need to go back to step one and fully process so you can let go.
Step 4 – Don’t let past define you
Once bitten, twice shy and all that but try not to let the past define you too much. Just work whatever burned you into your next contract and go forward assuming positive intentions (API, not to be confused with the other api here).
So there you have it. Thanks for reading. Hopefully this article inspires you to shed the dead weight of revenge which will ultimately help with your mental health. Sorry for the clickbait title 🙂